While sitting on the couch watching ”A Few Good Men”, my mother bursts into tears. She is moved by the virtue on display at the end of the movie. Now, you might think I’m talking about the climax of the movie where Colonel Jessup shouts, “You can’t handle the truth!” But, you would be mistaken. This moment is iconic; however, it was after this scene where the two Marines on trial are convicted of “conduct unbecoming” that stirred her soul. As one convicted Marine explains to the other, we were supposed to fight those who couldn’t fight for themselves. I can still remember my mothers tears, applause, and praises to God for that very scene. She was full of emotion, but her emotions came from a sense of higher purpose in life. She had been the person who was too weak to fight for herself. Years later, I would realize that the exact same scene was a cautionary tale against blindly obeying authority. For some reason, my mom just doesn’t agree. Fancy that!
In my estimation, “A Few Good Men” is the tragic tale of two individuals having too much respect for authority and not knowing when they should rebel. As Colonel Jessup explains, Men follow orders or people die! Jessup believed that he was above the law. Honestly, he probably didn’t even care to know what the law was. But, the real sad part of the story was the two Marines who followed orders and subsequently took their fellow Marine’s life. These two Marines represent two pillars for trusting a person. When it comes to trusting someone, we have to believe they are of good character and competence. A classic example is brain surgery. I don’t trust my wife to perform surgery on me. It is not because I think she has suspect character. It is because I know she doesn’t have the competency to perform brain surgery. I would be foolish to trust her in this way. Whereas, I don’t trust a car sales person because I’ve had multiple display poor character. In fact, I think they have great competency at selling cars. My lack of trust is all about their character.
If we follow some of the dialog between the two Marines. It seems the younger Marine looks up to the older Marine. The younger Marine lacks a moral compass. In a sense, he lacks competency in moral judgement. The young Marine has to ask the older Marine why they were convicted of “conduct unbecoming”. He didn’t understand what they did wrong. His issue wasn’t with character. His issue was with moral competency. He didn’t realize he did anything wrong. Yet, the older Marine did understand it, and I would argue that he represented poor character. The older Marine knew they were tasked with protecting the weak. So, why didn’t he? My belief is he lacked the “courage” to rebel against orders. He lacked the kind of courage that one would expect in a Marine.
This story is an age old story. Those familiar with Joseph Campbell will see that the defendant’s lawyer Lieutenant Kaffee successfully completes the Hero’s Journey. He is the hero of the film. However, the two convicted Marines are on trial because they have failed to accomplish this journey. The key is to realize that all of us are on a Hero’s Journey. In order to succeed, we will have to rebel at some point. The hardest part to rebelling is the culture. We are all brought up in a culture. I would say we begin our integration into the culture at home. Our parents represent the first authorities in our lives. If we are lucky, our parents want the best for us. They have outstanding character, and they generally always do what is best for us. If this is not the case, you may have to rebel much earlier in life. Either way, there comes a time when we need to rebel. The story of the rebellious teenager is a cliche. But for some reason, some parents still seem to resist this natural course of life.
In the case of my parents, they had a horrible time with debt. While they didn’t share all of their financial business with me as a kid, I manage to have a better head on my shoulders when it came to debt. As an over achieving student, I had a fully paid ride to college. My parents pushed me to take out the maximum amount of student loans. We had fights over this, but I eventually gave into their demands. When I left school, the housing bubble had burst and finding work was difficult. As my debt went unpaid, it ballooned in size. I felt overwhelmed by the size of it. And it eventually made me bitter towards my parents. It took time for me to realize that they didn’t have a gun to my head. They loved me. They thought they knew what was best, but they were not competent with money. I trusted them because they were my parents. But, they were suffering from the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect is the issue of thinking you have competence in situations where you don’t. The most infamous version of this was the bank robberies of McArthur Wheeler. McArthur knew that lemon juice could be used for invisible ink. In a crazy leap of reasoning, McArthur believed that the lemon juice would make him invisible. It didn’t take long to arrest him after two bank robberies in 1995 where cameras had clear sight of his face. So, how do you avoid this effect? Simple! Learn. When people learn just enough, they have a more realistic view of their competency. Often, people don’t have enough knowledge to even realize they lack competency. The only thing that can combat this is learning. You don’t have to be an expert, but you have to know enough to actually realize there are real gaps in your knowledge. This knowledge plays a second role. It helps you to realize when others lack competency. If you don’t know enough, you can’t determine if others know enough to be trusted. There are shortcuts to determine competency of others such as degrees or certificates, but nothing beats having some knowledge of your own. Armed with financial knowledge, it is easy to see that I shouldn’t have trusted my parents. I should have rebelled with conviction. Moving forward, I don’t see an excuse for not owning my outcomes. The internet has made it easier than ever to acquire enough knowledge to protect against the Dunning-Kruger Effect. Now, I have a strong sense of when to rebel. I understand my circle of competence, and I know how badly things can go when you don’t live with “courage”. The hardest question is knowing when you should start rebelling. I didn’t start until I was in my 20s, but I had plenty of opportunities in my teenage years.
At the end of the day, it can be hard to rebel against the main authority in your life since birth. It can be especially difficult when your parents threaten your security like mine did.
As a mentor of mine shared, entry into adulthood is marked by rebellion. It is the natural course of things. Kids will grow up and rebel when the time comes. When I told him my story of rebellion, he thought it made perfect sense that I rebelled, and he also agreed that my parents did the right thing by presenting a unified front. While he would have preferred they reacted differently, he felt my parents did the right thing by sticking together and not taking opposite sides. As he mentioned, my parents had the rest of their lives to spend together. They should stick together in their parenting. However, he did agree that their controlling response to my rebellion was heavy handed. Parents have to see the signs. I was at the age of rebellion. In a weird way, they should have actually encouraged it. They could have learned from me in that situation. I can only hope that when my kids begin to rebel I will recognize their need to develop their character and competency. Raising kids who can think for themselves and standup to authority is vital to their future and the future of a healthy society.
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