When I was growing up, there was an inspirational advertisement on television. It showed a father taking his daughter out on a date. He brought her flowers. Opened the door for her. He was the perfect gentlemen!
The message was that fathers need to show their daughters how a real man behaves. Fathers should set a good example for what their daughters should look for in a man.
If only they showed the following day when dad comes home and bitches for 2 hours about his job. Or when he spends the same time bitching about difficult customers. It seems he is missing the entire point of the earlier lesson. He has failed to identify what to look for in a customer. Scandalous!
Yeah, you heard it right. When it comes to bosses, immediate co-workers, and long-term partners, they are all customers. They are individuals who we wish to build a long-term relationship with. These relationships have to be built on trust. You have to choose your customers just as much as they choose you.
My first tragic tail of choosing the wrong customer was at my first job. When I look back on my first job, I wouldn’t change it for the world. It helped me learn how to interview. Yes, I needed a really horrible boss to help me realize that an interview is not all about making them want to hire you. I was just out of school during the housing crisis, and I was willing to do just about anything for a job.
When I look back on the interview, all the signs were there. He showed issues with anger management in the meeting. He wasn’t concerned with the psychological safety of his team. Yikes! His employees were obsessed with all the wrong kinds of metrics for success. And upper management was clearly turning a blind eye to culture. I also learned in that interview that some places will start a conversation with price. This is a dead giveaway that you need to run. They think you are a whore, and they just need to know how little you are willing to take. Sad part, I was a whore at that point. No integrity. No pride. Nothing. And I got what I deserved.
Cut forward by a few years, and I’m tough in an interview. I had one manager tell me that she was grilled more than I was. I thanked her and said that an interview is a two way street. I need to know that you are a good fit for me just as much as you need to know if I’m a good fit for you. She smiled, and I had a job offer later that day.
Years later when my manager changed, I had a horrible customer. They were mentally abusive, and they refused to listen to any reasoning on their product. After a particularly frustrating encounter, I had decided to clear the air and provide a communication for why my product suggestions would help control project risk. It was in a moment of clarity that I realized all of the strife was due to the customer being the wrong customer. I spoke with my management about our customer being the wrong customer to work with. My new manager decided to tell me that we don’t get to choose our customers. This was a pivotal moment. I knew I wouldn’t be working for him much longer. While he might not be able to pick his customers, I definitely had a choice in picking “My Customer” that I worked for. Boo yah!
So Chief Noise Maker, what do you look for in your customer? Glad you asked! I’m a fan of the Product Adoption curve. This is the bell curve that I mentioned in my article on Covid Vaccine Adoption. Long story short. You can think of customers in terms of those who are early adopters, general population, and laggards. When it comes to customers, you want early adopters. You want people who just get it. They are all in for the journey. Every profession is going to be difficult, so you want customers (i.e. managers, partners, etc.) who will stick with you in the trenches. Worst thing in the world is going to war with a lackadaisical soldier watching your back. For example, I needed guidance around Project Management when I first left school. Sure, I could build a machine learning model, but I had never handled expectation setting with a customer. I had never done a project timeline. I had never talked to customers to find their pain points and learn where I could provide the most value. I needed a place that was willing to teach me all the things they don’t teach in a Mathematics program. I needed a business that was an early adopter in apprenticeship. My first manager expected me to do everything from day one. He thought he could teach me a few things for one week and let me get my work done without any feedback ever.
Once I was up to speed in my career but wasn’t ready to mentor people, I found a great company with tons of big projects for me to cut my teeth on and gain the experience needed to mentor someone. They also helped me to pad my resume with some pretty awesome projects. I was able to take on more responsibility and show my leadership skills.
Now that I’m more senior, I really look for opportunities to help mentor young people. When I applied for my current role, I saw the organization was eager to have me mentor. It was actually a key part of the interview process. They didn’t have anyone to do this, but they understood the value in having a mentor. They were early adopters. They have patience on projects involving mentees. And I think it has honestly led to a great marriage.
Likewise, when I interview someone just out of school, kids think they know everything.
They don’t realize they need a mentor. While this might be a tough fit, I often give them some benefit of the doubt. I allow them to struggle, so they can learn that they need mentorship. It also helps when they see others succeed with the help of a mentor. These new graduates who are overconfident represent the general population. Sometimes they just need to see someone else do it in order to see the value.
All this comes back to the father and his daughter. As parents, we need to teach our kids a lot of different lessons. One of the main lessons is that life is all about relationships. We are all human. We are social creatures, and we as a society have managed to move mountains. These mountains are a lot easier to move when you have the right people along for the ride. Yes, you can choose your customers, and you should be sure to choose them carefully. Make moving mountains as easy as possible for you and your kids.
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